Phenomenomenomenon

Okay, so let's talk about this Twilight thing.

First, I'm listening to the audiobook. It had become clear to me that the writing was going to be so bad (I'm sorry, fans, I really am) that I would just be irritated to be reading it. On the minus side, I probably would have finished reading the book by now, while I'm only on chapter 3 of the audiobook. On the plus side, Adam is little enough that he doesn't know when the audiobook playing in the background while he's eating is trashy.

Secondly, Stephanie Meyers is a faithful Mormon. This is not a criticism, but a point about the whole sexy vampire thing. If getting bitten is sex, a devout Mormon is going to have a complicated relationship with that. Really, a true Mormon is going to have a take on gender issues and relationships that I'm not 100% about.

Next, let's address the sexy vampire thing. Sexy vampires out in daylight. Who, presumably, eat garlic bread, or at least hang out at the local pizza joint with those who do. I am not into sexy vampires, but if you're going to go that way, you at least have to obey the rules of vampirism. If they're not afraid of daylight, what on earth makes them vampires instead of some kind of intensive carnivores on a liquid diet?

Fourth, Edward's voice is described as "attractive." This is NOT ENOUGH INFORMATION about a voice. Call a guy attractive and being vague isn't so bad--I can build my dream guy. But what the hell is an attractive voice?

Fifth, why does Bella so hate the fact that the cute, popular, friendly kids all like her. She seems overwhelmingly annoyed at the three guys who like her, at least one of whom has really nothing against him. Also, why exactly did they all fall for her instantly, when no one in Phoenix appears to have cared much about her one way or another? What is up with this girl?

I think it would be awesome if it turned out that she was an unreliable narrator and she was some kind of freaky outcast or reverse vampire or something, but I know it's not going to be that interesting.

Sigh. I'm sorry to be so critical lately. I'll read something great soon, I swear. I've got a zombie book and a Bloody Jack book on deck--it can't be all bad.