Blurb Agony

Here are some blurbs I've read recently.

"A novel about memory, music, friendship, family rifts and reconciliation, this is an intelligent, compelling read set in Melbourne."

"In the bestselling tradition of "Good in Bed," and "She's Come Undone," comes a charming romantic comedy about a woman who flees a life and a body she doesn't want, and finds love and her true self."

"The novel's story line revolves around a single moment that threatens to unravel a woman's entire life and will appeal to readers of Jane Hamilton, Sue Miller and Ann Packet."

"Like Anita Shreve, Myerson writes in a literary and yet accessible manner. Her fifth book is a story of a troubled woman who falls for an outsider who has come to uncover the truth."

These make me want a job writing blurbs, just so they won't suck quite as much.  Because we can all agree, right, that these suck a lot?  Aside from the poor use of commas (I will accept your right to choose not to use the serial comma, but you don't get to put a serial comma in a list of two items), they're just so clunky and uninformative.

Also, FYI, blurbs that compare a book to something I liked are generally wrong about what I'll enjoy.  Friends who do that are in, but blurbs are almost always overreaching.

Also?  I think they meant Ann Patchett.