Lately I've been doing this thing where, instead of reading books, I spend time online fiddling with book sites. I go to the library and put something on reserve; I add something to Goodreads and read a review and look at a few top ten lists for the year. I'm thinking about reading a lot more than I'm actually reading.
I think it's overstimulation; my list of things I absolutely want to be reading right now is so long that I can't even approach it; it's like the time I literally walked in circles around my dorm room, getting distracted by one task every time I reached for another. I put my hand on my laundry bag and spotted my textbook out of the corner of my eye, realized that was more urgent and picked it up, only to notice that there were dirty dishes underneath it, which is way too gross and should be taken care of before I sit down to do anything as committed as studying, but taking the dishes to the sink I walked past the object I had borrowed from someone up the hall and promised to return right away, shoot, better grab that, and I'll get the laundry in the washer while I'm out, except the textbook....
I think that's why I've been rereading; it keeps me from having to commit. Every book I want to read is one that I really need to read. I've been putting off reading Raven Boys for years for no reason; I have an advance copy of Shadow Scale, which I've been DYING for since I read Seraphina two years ago. There is a new Jo Walton on my kindle! I just claimed Fool as my favorite book but haven't read the sequel! There are a dozen other books and situations on this list. My head is swimming.
And so I'm not reading. I'm looking at the pile and feeling overwhelmed. But no more. Right now--right now--I'm going to open something up and just go. I'll let you know what it turns out to be.
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